Varvara Krasa

Varvara KrasaM.Gorky Film Studio

In the year umpteenth,

in plain words,
well before our time,

there ruled over his realm,
the 39th in his line,

Yeremey the Bearded,
a czar thrifty and mercantile.

And to Yeremey once it occurred

that the way he ruled is right not.

He decided for the sake of truth:

everything should be checked,
audited and proved.

- How many wax candles?
- One hundred and forty-two.

- And candle ends?
- 97 pounds 13 ounces.

- Windows?
- All counted!

Keep on counting!

- Itemize! Name each item!
- Name each item! Itemize!

- Thrones!
- Thrones!

- Name and number!
- Number and name!

- Two throninas.
- Two throninas!

You highbrow!

“Throne” is masculine.

I see it this way.
A czar’s throne is masculine.

But Czarina is a woman.

Therefore, a czarina’s throne is
feminine.

Controversial, but logical.
I agree.

Write it down: one throne and
one thronina.

One thronina and one throne.

We’ve taken inventory: the palace,
thrones, windows, chairs, etc.

Let’s look outside. Follow me!

- What about the ink?
- Roll out the ink!

- Did you load the quill pens?
- The quill pens. Did you load?

The quill pens’ll go on their own.

- And the parchment?
- The parchment?

Where are you going, Yeremushka?

Stupid woman.

It’s not a czar’s business!

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